Dear Monday,

I am not prepared for you. Not prepared for another week of doing the same things every day and trying to stay on top of everything, trying to be the efficient mom I strive to be. The interrupted sleep these past few nights, with Vennela waking up multiple times, has been affecting my mood and my energy. It’s a big transition for her to regular milk, and there are things I need to do to help her in this transition. A worry crept in last night and stayed with me. Is she sleeping well? Is waking up so many times affecting her, too? I don’t usually worry this easily, but when I do, it paralyzes me. I woke up asking Google, “gentle ways to sleep train after transitioning to whole milk.” Writing this now makes me realize that this worry is probably why my day feels so out of control today.

I woke up late. I added chocolate chips to V’s lunchbox, and an inner voice immediately said, “That’s not you. You don’t pack chocolate chips in lunchboxes. Those are for weekends and special days.” Then I comforted myself by saying maybe it would cheer him up, when deep down I knew it was me who needed the cheering.

I wish I hadn’t skipped my meditation this morning. I wish I hadn’t texted my trainer saying I had work to finish and couldn’t work out today. Maybe that would have lifted my mood. I wish I hadn’t fallen asleep last night before sending the campaign draft. I didn’t need to skip my workout this morning to finish work. I didn’t finish the blog post. I didn’t research the audio for the reel I planned to post today.

The sink was full. The house needs vacuuming. The folded clothes were still waiting to be put away in the kids’ dressers. I hadn’t washed Vihaan’s hair over the weekend, so I had to do it this morning while dreading it, telling him how quick it would be since he doesn’t have much hair anyway. I was motivating him and myself at the same time.

I was on my feet working all Sunday, so how the heck did I wake up on Monday with so many unfinished tasks?

I didn’t call Amma while giving Vennela her bath this morning, which is usually the only time I get to talk to her before my workday starts. I was rushing because I had a meeting, so I skipped calling her. The meeting later got canceled, but by then, I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. That’s what I do when I’m upset. I ignore my feelings, hoping they’ll go away, even though I know that’s not how it works. They always linger and show up in other ways.

I hadn’t thought about what to feed Vennela for lunch. I didn’t cook any curry last night. I truly wasn’t prepared for Monday!

And then Vennela got hurt. When I opened the closet to pick her clothes after her bath, she tripped, hit her chin on the door, and got a scratch that started bleeding. She cried loudly for a minute and then seemed okay, but the blood wouldn’t stop. I rushed to wash it and tried to put a bandage on her, but she kept pulling it off. Thankfully, the bleeding stopped, but that was my breaking point. I closed my eyes with my palms and started sobbing. I missed my parents. I missed my brother, whom I haven’t seen in person in years. Every time I feel low, I miss him even more.

Then Vennela, my bujjamma, pulled my hands away from my face and smiled at me. Just like that, she made me smile. We had breakfast together. She played for a while as I started my workday, half an hour late.

She picked up the mic from the boombox and started babbling into it, the cutest thing. Then she took a toy from her shelf, went to the table, dragged a chair, climbed up with her tiny feet, pulled herself onto the chair, and sat there playing. When does she look so grown up today? That image is etched in my memory, and I can’t wait to tell Vihaan and Rajesh when they get home.

If I were in a better mood, I probably would have taken a picture and sent it to them. But that’s okay. I’ve decided not to record every joyful moment in photos in 2026. Some moments are meant to be felt and shared through words.

Vennela is napping now. This is my window to focus completely on work, but I took fifteen minutes to write this instead. And I already feel better.

Finished journaling for the rest of the day later at night.

I ordered Cava for lunch today. I’ve been trying to cut back on ordering in, but today called for an exception. The food arrived just as she woke up, and we had lunch together. She loved the falafel and the pita bread.

I don’t step outside the house during work hours. I usually don’t get the chance. And since Bagheera (our King Shepherd) is older now, he doesn’t need to be taken out multiple times, so it’s not a necessity either.

But today, I stepped out around 3:30, and Vennela absolutely loved it. She walked around, pointing at the trees, completely fascinated. I couldn’t stop smiling, watching her little joys become my little joys of the day. Despite how hard everything feels sometimes, she makes it all worthwhile. In that moment, I also felt a wave of guilt, wondering why I don’t take her out like this every day.

Deep down, I know there’s so much I could do. Stepping out in Winter means bundling up, and during work hours, I simply don’t have the luxury of time.

After Rajesh and Vihaan got home, I filled them up on our day. I also surprised Vihaan with a new set of coloring markers, and he was elated. His reaction to surprises is my favorite.

In the evening, I asked Rajesh to take Vennela along for Vihaan’s taekwondo class so I could cook and fit in a workout during that time. I quickly made palak paneer, wanting to give Vennela a protein-rich dinner that might help her feel full and sleep better. Plus, both kids love paneer! The curry turned out delicious. I quickly changed and headed to the basement for a cardio session on the treadmill.

Ten minutes in, Rajesh and the kids were back. It was 7:00 pm—time for the kids’ dinner, followed by bedtime. I felt disappointed in myself as I turned off the treadmill, but I promised I’d make it up tomorrow.

For a brief moment, I was grumpy and raised my voice at Vihaan during dinnertime, and I apologized right away. It’s so hard to navigate through a bad emotion and remain patient and gentle. I wish there were a switch in me I could just turn off. Now that I am writing about it, I realize maybe I should have mentioned it to Vihaan that I was disappointed I couldn’t work out today and took it out on him. Note to do better next time!

After the kids’ bedtime, I immediately fell asleep, finishing journaling the rest of the day. It had been a rough day, but sprinkled throughout were small, joyful moments that reminded me why these days, however challenging, are truly worth it.

Good night! Tomorrow, please be nice to me!

Mom burnout and exhaustion are real, and everyone experiences them, whether they show that side of themselves or not. I encourage you to write those hard days down. It gives perspective, helps you process your feelings, and reminds you that even the toughest days are part of the motherhood journey.