When I celebrate my son’s monthly birthdays I forget to celebrate me, I forget to acknowledge how far I have come in my postpartum journey. How I have been feeling with each passing day.
Recently in my pregnancy and new mom support group (if you want to get added to the group send me a DM on my Instagram), a new mom asked if anyone else being impatient and losing their temper easily! A series of women shared how they felt the same and how none of their families understood it since they’re not in the beginning days of their postpartum journey.
The way postpartum is defined medically is that it ends at eight weeks. You are not postpartum anymore after that, you don’t have any OB check-ups, you are back at work, you are back to normal. The support is gone. You should be back on your feet by now!
Postpartum rage is one of the common mood disorders that can occur after pregnancy as your hormones fluctuate, and tiredness kicks in.
The experiences shared in the group really hit me, as it never occurred to me that the emotions I am feeling could be due to postpartum! The realization has made me write this post. It’s literally a brain dump with no filters added, sharing how I am truly feeling at the moment.
6 Month Postpartum Journey Update
I am a person who gets excited easily. The new role as a mom got me pumped like nothing else. I was on a roll learning how to take care of the baby to how to help him to reach his developmental milestones, etc. I was up on my feet the very next day after a c-section. I was back to work 2 weeks later. Apart from some back pain, I felt an amazing and indescribable high!
It wasn’t until 4 months, reality kicked in when I recognized how nothing has gone back to normal yet! And at 6 months I am wondering the same
Most of my clothes still don’t fit me, every part of my body looks and feels different. I find myself comparing to other new moms on social media who snapped back within weeks of delivering a baby! how on earth did they do that? and why can’t I?
I don’t have the same energy and enthusiasm as before, some days I struggle to get out of the funk!
I rush from one thing to another, hardly “in the moment” enjoying things.
I want to eat all the WRONG food! postpartum make me sooo HUNGRY?
I lose my temper easily, lash at my husband for not doing enough when he is doing all he can, at my mom for repeating things more than once. My patience is wearing thin and I feel like I am carrying the weight of the whole world on my shoulders.
I am still passionate about my job and the blog like I was before. I have all these incredible content ideas but no time to work on them and pushing them for later feels like I’m falling behind on growth. My mom reminds me every day that I can always come back to where I left off but I can never have these moments with Baby V again. He can never be this cutest baby again. I am starting to realize that in this phase there is really is no AHEAD. The most I can hope for is to keep up with the current flow, but there is no getting ahead for me.
Sleep has got a little better but it still feels like I am taking multiple cat naps at night.
My hair started to fall off! When I make an effort and use my DIY hair oil and mask, it does get better but at times a quick shower feels impossible!
We have baby stuff in every nook and corner of the house. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel like the same home we moved into a year back. I don’t dislike it, but it sure feels like everything happened so quickly.
As a couple, we don’t spend as much as we should. We have dedicated tasks and we are busy doing them every day. When we talk it’s either about the baby or Bagheera or about paying bills. One of the things I want to change in October is to have a meal together every day and talk only about ourselves! the connection you have with your partner is also very important and it needs equal nurturing.
It takes a really solid gal to stick around, to make the effort to call and check up on u without expecting anything in return after kids. I feel very disconnected and don’t make an effort to pick the phone and call my family or friends. I am soo involved in my own mess, I feel like I don’t have the energy to listen or pay attention to others. But we are headed to the most happening time of the year, I will every effort to be more social and get out of my bubble.
I was so excited to introduce solids to baby V, now I feel it’s the toughest thing on the earth. It takes a lot of patience to watch the baby play with the food and not take a single bite. BLW is hard, some days it feels like I made the best decision, some days I have zero patience, I take the spoon and feed him. And the meal prepping is a whole new challenge. It’s alien to me, a new skill I am learning altogether! But I know I will appreciate this struggle and journey a year later when I have an independent eater with whom I don’t have to worry about spending hours feeding every meal.
I make daily progress in finding the old me, only to take a few steps back the following week. Clearly, there is no “bouncing back” in this postpartum journey. Because you don’t go back, you go forward. You grow into this new and wonderful person you’ve become now that your life and family have changed for good.
There is such a duality to life in a postpartum body. I have never experienced the love I receive from my LO before. When I look at his little face and see him smile when he does something for the first time or simply sleeps, my heart melts. I marvel at my body’s strength and its ability to grow and birth a human. I find the strength to appreciate my journey and the person I have become.
So, no matter all those sleepless nights, meltdowns, guilt, disappointments, and everything in between. You will get through the tough days and live for these moments!
If my postpartum journey had a logo, it would most definitely be a turtle. No bouncing kangaroo in this house!
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